So You Missed The Oscars...

This years Academy Awards (which aired last night) had the lowest ratings in twenty years! WTF? How dare you! Didn't you like Juno? LIAR! You loved it! So why didn't you watch and root for Ellen Page? Because the brilliant visionary you had better ideas for your Sunday evening right? Well, I"m still mad at you anyway.

But I will catch you up. Here is my highlight reel of winners with a few sarcastic/witty/pointless comments.

• Actor in a Supporting Role: Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men). Definitely a good pick Academy. The only person I think deserved in maybe a little bit more was Ben Foster (3:10 to Yuma), but he wasn't nominated so whatev.

• Actress in a Supporting Role: Tilda Swinton (Michael Clayton). So... even with all the hype and nominations I never saw this movie. Maybe I should though. Sorry bro.

• Documentary Feature: Taxi to the Dark Side. Again, I missed it. I really dropped the ball this year. From the clips I've seen of this though... It looks really good. It is about the treatment of war prisoners.

• Art Direction: Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Now I never reviewed this movie on here but I did see it. Sweeny won best picture at the Golden Globes along with Atonement. I think I agree with this award as well. The art and set decoration for this film was extremely unique and interesting. If you haven't seen this I suggest it. Depp aint the best singer in town but it is pretty fun to watch. Some catchy songs and tons of blood. One of the few musicals that I can actually sit through more than once.

• Music (Score): Atonement. I'm sort of on the fence with this one... good movie... but I don't think the score was really that amazing. I would have given this one to Into the Wild.

• Sound (Mixing & Editing): The Bourne Ultimatum. I have not seen any of the Bourne series simply because I loathe Matt Damon. I don't even know why I just hate the guy, he's just so smug. No thanks.

• Film Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum. See previous comment.

• Cinematography: There Will Be Blood. I agree one hundred percent here. Excellent Cinematography. If you have not seen this movie yet.. what are you waiting for? Awesome, Awesome, Awesome.

• Actor In a Leading Role: Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood). Again, yes! Such a great performance. This guy is a solid actor fo sho. Maybe the best American accent since Hugh Laurie. (he really has an English accent).

• Actress In a Leading Role: Marion Cotillard (La Vie En Rose). Huh? I never even heard of this movie. I really need to polish up on my cinematic endeavors. Huge upset as far as I'm concerned. Ellen page deserved it. Bummer.

• Writing (Adapted Screenplay): No Country for Old Men. Sweet. I never read the book, but from a movie perspective the writing was excellent. Very interesting. Another must see. Get to it!!

• Writing (Original Screenplay): Juno. For me this was a complete draw between Juno and Lars and the Real Girl. Although I still don't know if I agree with this specific award I would have rather seen Lars walk away with no awards than Juno.

• Directing: No Country for Old Men. Definitely deserved. The Coen bros are now officially legendary directors.

• Best Picture: No Country for Old Men. Alright alright, this was a really good movie... but I would have taken There Will be Blood or Juno (of the films nominated in this category) as best picture instead. Sorry Joel and Ethan.

So there you go. You didn't even need to watch it. I hope you enjoyed playing wii at your buddy's house instead. It's cool though, you could tell the writers strike just ended like a week ago. It took them three and a half hours to dish out these awards. I would have rather been playing wii too.